April 22, 2020

Me: Have you noticed I’ve gotten more squishy since we haven’t been climbing?

Bryan, without skipping a beat: No, not at all!

Me: Maybe it’s because you don’t pay enough attention to me...

Bryan, stares for a few seconds: Nicely played...

And then he walks away.

#entrapment #buthedoesntfallforit

Me: You know, sometimes I think earning love is better than unconditional love. I mean, shouldn’t something have a lovable quality to be loved? Like, a piece of poop is not lovable...

B: Wow you went there pretty quickly. I thought we were talking about personhood...

As I’m typing this onto FB...

Me: Wow, as I type this, I’m realizing this is pretty heretical.

B: You’re just now realizing this????

Bryan to me: I had a dream that you were being really extroverted at a party, and I didn’t know what to do.

Isaac: Was that a dream or was it a memory?

July 30, 2021

 My poor introverted son: You make me know too many people.

August 21, 2021

 B: Wow, you’re having a very meaningful conversation with yourself!

P: I thought I was sharing with you!

August 24, 2021

 Me: *giving explanation* ... and that's why we can't put that meat in the caprese salad.

B: Okay. But you keep saying caprese and that word means nothing to me. But okay.

August 24, 2021

 Isaac: Mama, impress me!

Me: I don’t need to. I gave birth to you, I gave you life. That should last you a lifetime.

October 3, 2021

 P: I wanted to go to the Banksy exhibit this fall…

B: Is that a gangster? *finger guns*

P:

December 31, 2021

 B: What's that movie that Neo is in... but he's not Neo... the actor.

P: Keeanu Reeves?

B: Yeah, and it's not the Matrix but like the Matrix, but his name is Jack something... Jack the Ripper...

P: John Wick?

B: Yeah, that's it! *proceeds to look where he can stream it*

February 5, 2022

The song Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo comes on the radio…

I: Can we listen to a song that’s not about sad people?

May 27, 2022

Somehow Twilight got brought up in conversation…

B: I’m Team Jacob.

P: ???

B: I like how the posters looked. That’s all I know.

P:

November 5, 2022

B: Peggy, am I your ride or die?

P: … uh… did you want to be?

B: I just want the facts.

We are Beliebers

P: I just read that Justin Beiber announced his retirement on Twitter.

B: I can't beliebe that!!

Sticky and Itchy

This morning...

B: I had a dream last night too. I was at a water park and the theme of the water park was "Making Spiritual Itchiness Vanish."

P: .....

B: I told myself, that's pretty good. Maybe we can use it as a large group theme. I need to remember that and tell Peggy... Except now that I tell you about it, it doesn't sound that awesome.

P: ROFL

Now he's doing the diagnosis

P: I need attention....!
B: You have attention... deficit... disorder...
P: -___-

Lincoln the Action Movie Hero

B: So did you pick a movie?

P: Well, there's Lincoln but I don't think you'll like it.

B: I thought it was supposed to be good.

P: Yeah, but it's not your kind of movie.

B: What kind of movie is it?

P: A drama.

B: Well, is there any kind of running in it?

P: LOL

Cuteness is...

With Cheri...

C: Isaac, did anyone say you were cute at the bank?

I: Uh huh...

P: Isaac, do you know what cute means?

I: Uh huh...

P: What does it mean?

I: Tall...

Gently down the...

Isaac singing...

P: What are you singing?

I: Row, row, row your boat.

P: Can you sing it again?

I: Bro, bro, bro your boat, gently down the brooooo!

the little e

Isaac, reading a counting book.

It's a 6! When it grows to a 9, it turns around!

Itchy

B: Can you scratch my head? It's itchy.

P: Why is it itchy? Does it have bed bugs? *recoiling*

 B: No, it's itching for your love.

 -____-