Toy Story Soap Opera

B: What's Woody's girlfriend's name?

P: Bo Peep?

B: Bo Peep? No, no, the cow girl.

P: No, the cow girl is Buzz's girlfriend.

B: What?! Shouldn't the cow girl be Woody's girlfriend?

P: No!... They're like brother and sister. That's like incest...

*snicker*

More of the same

Bryan:

I don't like any of that weird sci-fi stuff.

I'd rather it be like Cowboys and.... other Cowboys.

(speaking about the movie Cowboys and Aliens)

End Times with the Enderles

P: Hey, the rapture is happening tomorrow.
B: Oh that's exciting, maybe I'll cancel all my appointments tomorrow.
P: *chortle*

On love and submission

B: Did you tell me that you loved me today?

P: It's your responsibility to tell me first.

B: How is that?

P: Well, the bible commands you to love me.

B: What's your role?

P: To submit! I'll submit to you loving me!

Use feeling words

P: Do you know what love feels like? Or is it what you know in your head?

B: It feels like marriage.

P: Marriage isn't a feeling word!

B: Maybe to you it isn't...

Driving Dr. Enderle

Whenever we drive by someone in a convertible, especially if it's a middle-aged man, I always comment about how he must be going through a mid-life crisis.

Drove by a convertible yesterday.

P: That guy, yup, that was his mid-life crisis purchase.

B: Will I have a mid-life crisis purchase? If so, I'd like to start saving up for it.

My husband needs glasses

I bought the shirt above from Threadless for father, son, and grandpa for Father's Day. They wore it at the same time and produced the adorable picture below.

Grandpa brought his shirt and wore it again this weekend so we put the three in matching outfits. After Bryan put his shirt on...

B: Oh... the cow and the chicken aren't looking at a soccer ball.
P: You thought the egg was a soccer ball all this time?
B: I guess I didn't look closely enough.
P: Uncontrolled laughter