April 22, 2020

Me: Have you noticed I’ve gotten more squishy since we haven’t been climbing?

Bryan, without skipping a beat: No, not at all!

Me: Maybe it’s because you don’t pay enough attention to me...

Bryan, stares for a few seconds: Nicely played...

And then he walks away.

#entrapment #buthedoesntfallforit

Me: You know, sometimes I think earning love is better than unconditional love. I mean, shouldn’t something have a lovable quality to be loved? Like, a piece of poop is not lovable...

B: Wow you went there pretty quickly. I thought we were talking about personhood...

As I’m typing this onto FB...

Me: Wow, as I type this, I’m realizing this is pretty heretical.

B: You’re just now realizing this????

Bryan to me: I had a dream that you were being really extroverted at a party, and I didn’t know what to do.

Isaac: Was that a dream or was it a memory?

July 30, 2021

 My poor introverted son: You make me know too many people.

August 21, 2021

 B: Wow, you’re having a very meaningful conversation with yourself!

P: I thought I was sharing with you!

August 24, 2021

 Me: *giving explanation* ... and that's why we can't put that meat in the caprese salad.

B: Okay. But you keep saying caprese and that word means nothing to me. But okay.

August 24, 2021

 Isaac: Mama, impress me!

Me: I don’t need to. I gave birth to you, I gave you life. That should last you a lifetime.